Angels Watching Over Me

Rainbows aren’t really a thing in Los Angeles. The desert climate and rare rain keeps those brilliant arches from painting the sky.

But today, I saw them.

I had to get an unexpected X-ray just a few miles away, so I grabbed an Uber on the way there and decided to take a long walk back. It was one of those crisp, beautiful days where the extra steps felt like a gift since I spend most of my week inside, alone at a computer.

And it was a lovely walk. Crisp air, blue skies... and wait... is that a little rainbow???

Yes! A little wisp of a rainbow here. Another brushstroke over there. And then—wow—a partial arc stretching in a different direction. One was even vertical. I wasn’t sure if anyone else saw them, but I did. It reminded me of years ago when I stood in Central Park, waiting for the Pope to pass by. The skies had filled with vibrant rainbows that day too. I remember thinking it was an act of the Holy Spirit, and I snapped photos, trying to capture the wonder.

Today’s rainbows felt holy too. So I took pictures.

The Call

My phone was almost out of battery and not exactly knowing where I was, I knew that my best plan was to walk toward the water. Eventually, I made my way to the Strand, the long walkway running parallel to the Pacific, and that would guide me home. Starbucks in hand, music in my ears, I watched the sun start its descent. And another rainbow brushstroke appeared beside it.

And then the call came: "Come walk on the beach." I heard it inside of me. It was persistent, almost playful—like a tug on my sleeve. "This way! You need to come walk on the beach." I continued on my path, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the little rainbow next to the sun and over the sea. "Come this way."

The air was chilly, but I rarely ignore intuition. Off went my socks and shoes, and I stepped into the cold sand, following the direction of the rainbow swatch. I even found myself talking to it like a little child in my head: "I’m coming, I’m coming. Look! I’m on the beach. I’m listening."

As I walked toward the water's edge, I greeted the birds as I so often do. "Hello, friends. How’s everyone doing? Did you have a good day, today? Wow, there are so many of you!" And one foot in front of the other, talking to the birds, singing to the beach and walking toward the rainbow.

And the song played on in my headphones. “When life gets broken, when you're in despair. He’ll carry your burdens when it's too much to bear. It's down in the valleys where He'll give you strength. There is nothing lost that He can't replace. He'll help you start all over again ..." 

Singing at full volume to the ocean, just me and God. As I sang, memories rose up; thoughts rose up. My children’s ministry, my family ministry, my music ministry—all things I had to pause when I left New Jersey to follow an earlier call to the West Coast.  Things I miss terribly. Things I haven't quite figured out how to continue doing. Things and people I still dream about almost every night since being apart from my community in Hoboken.  The idea that I don't know what I'm doing and don't know how it's all going to work out is ALWAYS on my mind. Have I done the right thing?

The Questions

All the questions rise up in me. The anxieties. The missing of my community. The missing of my family. "What am I doing? How is this going to work out? Will my ministry return? How do I start over again? Where am I going to sing? Who is going to listen to me? Who is going to invite me in? There must be a door. I'm trying to find it." Allllll the lingering and weighted questions.

The sun and the neighboring rainbow seemed to listen while drawing me in. I began to feel a presence in the light. The sun and rainbow continuing to draw my attention. "Who is that? Jesus, is that you?" I lifted my phone, taking photos of the sun because even though I couldn't see anyone, I felt someone there. As if a person had shown up.

Hearing lyrics in my ears "there is nothing lost that He can't replace. He'll help you start all over again." So I asked... "Can YOU help me start over again?"

My feet stopped walking, and my attention turned to my right side. And just like that, there was a name there written in the sand. I shifted my whole body toward it. And immediately... a synapse fired in my brain. Angelica. I stood with my mouth wide open.

Guardian Angels

As a child, we always prayed to our guardian angels. "Angel of God my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits thee here. Ever this day be at my side to light, to guard, to rule and to guide Amen." My mother always included the guardian angels in bedtime prayers, sometimes before tests and exams—told us to ask their names, thank them for their guidance.

And I did ask. "What's your name? Can you tell me your name?" the little girl Katie asked. The name that came back to me was Angelica.

Here and there throughout life, I've prayed to guardian angels -- when I'm driving and tired, when I need a little extra guidance, when I'm facing a stressful situation...when there are questions I don't have answers to. I mean, even my high school mascot was an Angel and we highly celebrated the feast of the guardian angels every October. A little intercession never hurts!

But right here in the sand next to my feet was written the name Angelica. Angelica. Nearly 40 years later, I'm standing on a beach on the other side of the country, seeing rainbows, feeling a presence, asking God how to start over—and there was that name, in the sand to my right. Angelica.  My guardian angel.

As if to say, You’re not doing any of this alone.

A guardian angel was walking on the beach with me. I didn't have any sudden answers to the questions I was asking. But something had shifted -- something, someone was reminding me that I'm not facing this by myself. My mood began to lighten; I felt less worried. I continued walking now sharing my thanks... I started finding sand dollars and heart-shaped shells. There was a woman sitting in the sand. I picked up a sand dollar and walked it over to her, "this is for you," I said, trusting the intuition.

The Answers

Always searching for meaning and answers. Later, I looked up "angels and rainbows" and "angels in the sun" in the Bible. It led me to Revelation—a book I haven't spent much time with. But today, it felt like the right place to be. There were two passages, Revelation 10 and Revelation 19 that stood out. In Revelation 19:17, there is mention of an angel standing in the sun who called out to all of the birds telling them of the goodness and the victory of God. And I thought back to how I had spoken to the birds on the way to the rainbow. :-)

But another passage grabbed me even harder. Here is a snippet from Revelation, 10: 1-11

Then I saw another powerful angel coming down from heaven, wrapped in cloud, with a rainbow over his head; his face was like the sun, and his legs were pillars of fire... He planted his right foot on the sea and his left foot on the land... Then I was told, 'You are to prophesy again...'

An angel. A rainbow. The sun. The sea. The land. Ministry Again. YES!!!!!! This is it.

Did it give me any exact answers to my questions? No.

Did it give me any bread crumbs of guidance? Yes.

God knows my feelings - of gain, of loss, and everything in between.

God knows He gave me the desire to sing.

God knows I'm far from my family and church.

God knows about my loneliness.

God knows how much I love.

God knows I am searching for a door.

God knows of the work I put in to build community.

God knows I am trying my very best.

God knows I make mistakes.

God knows I am a human and don't have the answers.

God knows I don't know.

God knows.

God knows.

God knows.

Epilogue

If you're ever walking alongside the beach and hear a rainbow speak to you, answer the call.

Whether I actually experienced angels or it was just ironic timing; it doesn't matter. What matters is the message:

God has got it. That is, God's got everything -- the awareness, the plan, the timing, the presence. When we lose something... God's got it. When we gain something... God's got it. And when we're in between... God's got it. There is nothing lost that He can't replace. He'll help you start all over again. God's got us. God's got ME.

And... you know what? God's got YOU, too.

You are loved xo

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Song for Meditation: When Life Gets Broken

Additional Reading: What we know about Angels

What does Angelica mean? : The name Angelica has its origins in Latin, a language that was widely spoken in ancient Rome. Derived from the Latin word angelicus, meaning messenger of God, Angelica has long represented a celestial connection and divine purpose. In Christian tradition, angels are seen as intermediaries between God and humanity, carrying messages of guidance, protection, and revelation. Thus, Angelica embodies this notion of a spiritual messenger, symbolizing the divine presence and a sense of reverence.

Did you know?

God also sends angels to bring His messages to guide us in our own ministry (Acts 8:26).

Revelation 10 encourages perseverance, obedience, and courage in spreading God's message, even when it gets challenging or difficult. This is an important reminder: that God alone knows everything which is occurring. We are not meant to know all things, and we cannot claim to know all things—either about the end times, or any other subject.